LOVERDIUS: Fri 01:02:03
My lady, a year and a day have passed; yesterday’s snows have melted. But the deep bond we once forged was never broken in my heart. Now that all the trees have donned their leaves, the time has come to harvest the fruit.
On such a day I first saw you walk into the gardens, in the silkiest gown I had ever seen, so light that the air was thick around you. I stopped in my tracks and drew in a sharp breath, for I had never before looked upon a damsel who could stand out so brilliantly in such extreme light of day.
But you were like a swan in a lake, not to be caught. And I, being a knight, and too much of a perfectionist, had to fill my life with battle and blood. A short time into our courtship I bid farewell to you, took my horse, my sword and my lance, and with an aching heart rode far, seeking adventures.
For a year and a day I wandered the world, soldiering and jousting. But all the glory I gained and all the sumptuous banquets I shared with kings are nothing without you, my lady. I am sending you this message, the one which I promised, so that you know that all this time I have lived for your sake.
MELIDORA: Sat 14:10:09
I remember those days past, seigneur, as if they were only yestermorn. Never before had I seen anything like you in all my life. The glint of your eye that made me shiver, the smile on your face that twisted my stomach, and that strong, masculine perfume, they all shouted love at me. I recall the feel of your hand over mine, the touch of your breath in my face, and how they made me curse all my former virtuous contact.
But you were a falcon in flight, not to be held. Where did you go? You disappeared into the mists of chivalry and became unfindable, a legend to your old friends, not even a photograph of your preciousness left behind.
I thought you’d forgotten me, but it seems you held on to me like treasure. I lay in bed and read your text over and over again, and, with a smile on my lips, I make you the center of my thoughts.
LOVERDIUS: Sat 14:20:01
There are things I have wanted to say to you for months. But in those days of turmoil and trouble, I had thought it best to keep my heart to myself. I unhorsed opponents, conquered castles, plundered villages, looted and burned cities in your name. For you I would walk through fire, flood, hell, and space itself, and pick up your veils from the laundry on my way home; for, to be loved by you, I’d be willing to make the supreme sacrifice.
Therefore uncage your heart, let it fly to me. If you cannot hold your thoughts, let me have their reins. Let me spend my strength in your arms and nothing will ever be your pain or your sorrow—this I promise you on the full moon.
MELIDORA: Sat 21:45:14
You make me tremble. How can I return to my embroidery, or play the harp, or even binge-watch Breaking Bad, while such a feeling holds me? Is this true? Can it endure? In a few words, my dear Loverdius: If you were to buy me coffee, my hands would be willing to receive it, my mouth ready to drink it, and my eyes greedy to see you.
Ah! The moon would be so lovely if it were in its full power!
LOVERDIUS: Sun 10:36:28
Believe me, fairest Melidora, I have no wish to be suspected of lying or exaggerating. That which was a flame in me has become a fire so intense that I text you with the same passion as I am consumed with, and with matching speed. And so, my lady, I declare that I would rather die than carry on living on lands where your foot has never stepped. I ask you only to accept my love, and grant me the greatest favor you can grant a man, so I can take the road back to you.
MELIDORA: Sun 11:53:44
Such words of passion as you write cannot be ignored; they have weight, they must be taken into account.
What are the riches that surround me? What are the crimson gowns, the precious stones, the costly myrrh and frankincense? Liquid assets are no concern of mine; let accountants engage in such matters. My heart only yearns for gentle Loverdius. Am I worthy of him? Can I ever love like he does, like a minstrel in distress?
Have no doubt that I count the days to your return. But—forgive me if I am bold, my absent one, and spare me not the truth: have you the means to secure a plane ticket?
LOVERDIUS: Sun 12:00:00
I shall leave my soul open to you, to receive all your blessings in it. In my quests, riches were never my aim. My desire was only to be your worthy slave, and by the grace of God, to become the instrument of your happiness.
If you would be so kind as to send me a hundred gold sovereigns, I would arrange my passage into your faithful service, so that my heart, my body, and my whole being be yours, and I proud to belong to the most generous of all women.
LOVERDIUS: Tue 06:15:52
You never answered my last text. How can my soul fight against such evil? I feel I will break apart in a million pieces. What am I supposed to do? Will you not bestow upon me your grace—you, who hold my fate in your soft hands—so I can take you in my arms and pronounce you my angel?
LOVERDIUS: Fri 19:22:43
Alas! Cruel Melidora, do you wish to see me dead? I tremble; I sigh; I grow pale and sleepless. Are you trying and testing me? Have you forgotten the one who lives to worship you? Are you in a place without good coverage? Will I find out soon? I cannot imagine you would make me wait until tomorrow.
MELIDORA: Sat 03:02:01
You may rest assured, my dear Loverdius, that I have not forgotten you or the spirit that moves you. The passing of time hasn’t changed you a drop.
You came to court with a desire to conquer. You kept up with the latest fashions, danced all the latest dances. You showed off in your stunning riding garb and toyed with the sharpest gadgets. Piggy eyes, full of glint; arms reaching out to grab the best morsels at the feast; presumptuous chemistries—your hand, unsolicited, around every lady’s shoulders.
I desire nothing more than to have our situation resolved. I have found it possible to do so by means of these messages you sent me. I have forwarded them to a certain person with whom you share chicken and couch, and whose very existence you have omitted from your star-crossed verse.
I wish you a happy life, and to be received into your abode without lutes being smashed on your head, or any such horrors. But then again, hardly unexpected for someone of your stature, you have a mountain of debt and a sea of unpaid obligations. If you do not settle them, some treacherous people will break you apart—I am informed—into a thousand pieces.
My dear Loverdius, as you know, I have no talent in the dramatic arts. So let this be an adieu written in the simplest style possible. I leave you to the future that awaits you, bereft of my endorsement.