Mistaken Words by Joanne Macias

Reading the document one more time, I knew it was done. It was as good as I would be able to get it. I probably would make it worse if I tried to change any more. Saving it and closing the tab was the only way to ensure I stopped. That meant only one thing. I needed to get this out into the world, but my luck was pretty limited. Would I really be able to get this published with a traditional publisher, or would they make me change everything into a mould I wanted to avoid in the first place? 

Realising that I had to do this my own way, I knew the only option was self-publishing and the thought of that made my heart race. Unable to pinpoint the exact reason why, I knew the adrenaline was what I needed to make sure I got this in motion. Clicking on the first tab, I simply glanced at all the terms and conditions on the page before signing up and uploading the document Through the waves.doc. 

Remembering the terms and conditions stating something about how once you submitted the document, there was no way to cancel the production process, I probably should have double and triple-checked the document before the upload, but I knew that Breaking through the sound waves was going to be a best seller. Wait. Bringing the file back up, I felt my heart drop, noticing the wrong name on the screen. Scrambling to look at the original document, I was at least reassured to see it was a completed story. But just not the right story. 

Staring at the screen, I knew there was nothing I could do except wait. I hated the fear associated with it all, but I knew there was no turning back. 

Ding. 

Wait, what was that? A sale? Surely not. How would that even be possible? I hated to think what they were going to say. It was incomplete in my eyes. 

Ding. 

Wait, what? Surely not another sale already? 

Feeling the anxiety build in my chest, I began to fear the impending reviews. "Good premise, bad grammar", "Incomplete plot, too many plot holes”, "She shouldn’t quit her day job”. Maybe everyone was going to say something even worse. I would never know what was going through their mind. Not at least until the reviews came out. 

Ding. Ding. Ding. 

Wait. What was going on here? I needed to get my mind off this. Sitting here all day would absolutely suck out the air from my lungs, keeping me gasping for air in anticipation. 

Deciding a coffee was in order, I wanted to get as far away from my laptop as possible. I also felt a bit like a starving artist, so I guess the furthest I could get was the kitchen. At least I knew there would be biscuits. That was always enough to sweeten the deal. 

Taking my time where possible, I hoped it would take my mind off it enough as I could get my breath back. Hearing noises in the distance, I wondered if it was just my imagination. There was no way that I could have had more orders coming in. I only just uploaded it. I just needed to stay away from the laptop. I needed more of a distraction. A walk perhaps? No, no. Exercise was not the answer. Not this time anyway. The idea of walking 'round in circles would make me feel even more stuck in this perpetual loop. 

  Knowing the suspense would get worse the longer I unsuccessfully tried to distract myself, I knew I had to face the screen and my mistake. Each step back to the table dragged, my legs feeling heavier with each and every step. I had to push through the quicksand. 

  Upon glancing at the screen, I wondered what was happening to my inbox. Flashing furiously, email after email kept populating the screen. Was my email under attack? Looking closer, it was orders as well as reviews beginning to flood in. 

  Anxiety? Excitement? A combination of the two? I wanted to know what everyone thought, but also not. Closing my eyes, I randomly clicked open an email, hoping it was one of the reviews. Slowly opening my eyes, I began to see the words form. 

Through the waves took me on a journey, sweeping me off my feet in the best way possible. 5 stars!

Wait? They loved it? Maybe it was a one off. Let's try another. Carefully selecting the next, I tried to read this as quickly as possible. 

Just like a rip, pulling me back into its grip as soon as I thought I was safe, Through the waves kept me in its grasp from start to finish.

As I went through review after review, they were all the same. Well, different, but they were all positive. Unsure of what to do next, I simply remained frozen. It wasn't meant to be this way. The praise should have come from a work that was far more polished, yet I didn't want to seem ungrateful. Torn between expectation and reality, I knew my luck was used up - letting me ride at least one more publishing wave with this newfound and unexpected success.