Shortlist Saturdays: Ornithophobia by Sruthi Amalan

Ornithophobia

My mother sits upon my chest,

her talons tightening around my breast until I bled.

Her steel grip silences my voice. She hardens herself against my suffering.

With her foot still pressed upon my heart, my mother screeches -

sounding my sorrow through her open silver beak.

As if she were the child bled dry.

As if this sorrow is hers to scream.

The good people gather to relieve her of her misery.

They bring her fruits and rice, meet her with softened eyes,

and caress her feathered back as she drifts off into dreams.

All the while, I - with my body bruised and bled dry - 

stand still as stone.

The statue that seats the crow.

As the years passed, my mother’s rest

gives way to restlessness.

She thrusts down her wings,

shoving the air towards the ground, and rising up

towards the sky in its force.

Even from down here, I can see the black of her feathers

against the white softness of the clouds.

From down here, with her nowhere near,

I run my fingers over my wounds.

For the first time, from my own two lips,

I scream.

Sruthi Amalan is a 23-year-old Tamil diaspora author living in Canada who uses her writing to explore her various intersecting identities and to make sense of the world around her. Sruthi's perspective on the world is deeply informed by her being a brown, queer woman who is a survivor of trauma and abuse. She is an active member of her community, both in-person and online, and she uses her social media presence to encourage others to do the same. Sruthi has many interests besides writing, including reading, drawing, and creating graphic designs. In her spare time, she loves to watch local music and theatre performances, spend time with her father and brother, and play board games with her friends. Sruthi released her first poetry collection, ‘Where the Clay Meets the Flame,’ in February 2024.