The Perks of the Job by Chris Butt

“So, what you’re telling me, Mr. Thanatos, is that you’re depressed about your job.”

  The man sitting in the chair across from her nodded. Dr. Sinclair made a note and gazed at her patient. He was tall, with slick black hair, and fully tanned. His dark goatee and immaculate suit gave him a devilish appearance. His ebony walking cane perfected the look.

  “Yes, that’s true,” Thanatos answered. “You see, my job has many perks: travel, meeting interesting people, amazing clothes where the situation calls for it, but the end result of all of my meetings is usually very sad.”

  “Sad in what way?” Dr. Sinclair asked.

  “It usually ends in disappointment.”

  Dr. Sinclair sat back in her chair and studied her patient for a moment. He was a last-minute addition to her day. As always, it was the last person of the day that was the most challenging, or in some cases, downright difficult. Thanatos, however, was a little unique and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  “I’m sure, despite the disappointments, there are many people who would love to have your job. The travel alone. I know many people who would be envious,” she said.

  “Envious,” Thanatos said. “True, but vain as well. Just look at the internet. Selfies, pictures of their food, this ‘look at me’ attitude. However, my job doesn’t allow me time for any of that nonsense.”

  “Surely you’ve spent some time at some of the world’s natural wonders, even if it’s just the tourist traps,” Dr. Sinclair added.

  “Well, I did spend some time at the ski slopes in the alps. I was part of a rescue team after an avalanche. It ended badly.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Surely there were other occasions where the job had happy results.”

  Thanatos paused and twisted his cane with his fingers. He looked at the print of Salvador Dali’s ‘The Persistence of Memory’ with its melting clocks. He smiled to himself.

  “That’s an interesting painting.”

  “Yes, I'm a bit of a fan of Dali. It’s open to many interpretations. For me, it’s feels like time is melting away. Kind of running out.”

  “True, but who knows what Dali was thinking. He was strange one.” After an awkward pause, Thanatos continued. “Sorry to be distracted. To answer your question, sometimes, it’s more of a relief. Other times, satisfaction, knowing you did well but still in the end, it’s over.”

  “So, I guess I get the impression that you terminate people from their jobs?”

  “Terminate. That’s an interesting way of putting it. No, the termination, using your word, has already happened. I’m there to just pick up the pieces. To take care of any details that need attention.”

  Sinclair made a couple of more notes and rubbed her chest. A little indigestion she thought. Those spicy tacos with her sister last night were coming back to haunt her. She put the memory away and looked at Thanatos. He seemed to be giving off some sort of aura. Otherworldly came to mind. She shook her head and carried on.

  “A trouble shooter. You sort of pick up the pieces.”

  “Pieces? True, sometimes, it’s quite a mess.”

  “Comfort as well? It must be stressful for your clients?”

  “Definitely,”

  “Fear. Are they scared?”

  “Terrified.”

  “Some of them must show a brave face?”

  “In some cases, the clients, as you put it, they embrace it. Welcome what I bring with open arms.”

  “That in itself must bring you some satisfaction?”

  “It does, but I admit it is a rare event.”

  Sinclair smiled and wrote some notes. She found her hand shaking a little. Finishing the note, she added, “Rare or not, it must give you some hope in your job.”

  Thanatos smiled and twisted his cane. When he didn’t answer, Sinclair consulted her watch.

  “Well, not a lot of time left in our session. Carrying on, let’s talk about the travel. Does work pay for that?”

  “Definitely. It’s one of the perks of the job. Free travel.”

  “It brings me back to being envious. How often do you travel?”

  “Every day mostly. It’s not to often I get a day off.”

  “You must relish the time alone when it does happen.”

  “Actually, I find myself quite bored. I’m usually in the office and, I must admit, the people I work with are not very interesting.”

  “Care to explain?”

   “They’re more paper pushers than anything. Dotting I’s, crossing T’s, stamping pages. Not an empathetic bone in their bodies. At least I show some compassion.”

  “Workplace tension? Bullying? It all adds to job dissatisfaction.”

  “Bullying? Believe me there isn’t any bullying at my level. That’s the lower department’s issue.”

  “So, there’s some sort of toxic work environment?”

  “Toxic’s a good word for it.”

  “It could add to how you feel about your job.”

  “My co-workers have nothing to do with it. It just depresses me.”

  Sinclair consulted her watch again. The hour was just about up. As she glanced over her notes, she felt her neck hurting, and a headache emerged from behind her eyes. She squeezed them tight and took a couple of deep breaths. When she opened her eyes, she glanced at the print. The melting clocks.

  “Well, I’m sorry Mr. Thanatos, it looks like my time is up. Can we schedule another appointment?”

  Thanatos gave a sad smile as Sinclair stood up. When she reached out her hand to shake his, Sinclair noticed the room had turned grey. She turned to see her slumped body in the chair.

  Startled, she realized that Thanatos had stood up. He reached out and touched her shoulder. His suit turned to a dark cloak and his cane, a large scythe.

  “I’m sorry but it wasn’t the tacos. Your last words were quite prophetic.”

  Sinclair shook with terror. Thanatos’ face gave her a loving glance.

  “Don’t worry, I will take care of you. You’re going to the good place.”

  “My life...how can it be over?”

  “A very common question. Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer, I just help people along to the other side. I’m like the Ferryman that Chris de Burgh sings about.”

  “What about my sister? My family? My work?”

  “Your family will be fine; they will carry on. Of course, they will be heartbroken but that comes with the territory. Your job? No more misery, depression, or billing. That’s one of the best things about my work; I don’t have to pay for anything,” Thanatos smiled sadly. “It’s one of the perks of the job.”